Kant's no c*nt

I was awoken from a dream this morning in which I was surveying an old building for left-over materials I could use for it's own refurbishment. This is the story of my family life. Efficiency.

I was awoken by an alarm reminding me to go to the gym, there's some relevance to this too, but I forget.

Then perhaps in the hope of fixing up my life for good I reach for my phone and google "reason wiki"

And decide that the word c&nt must be derived from Kant. [* see footnote]

Then I got up and well the next bit is too much info but it reminded me of the interconnectedness of life and how one thing's trash is another's treasure (sorry for the americanism, that's google again).

Then I made a cup of coffee and thought, let's write some shit. Sorry i didn't mean to mention that subject. I suppose you could say anything you physically eject is shit one way or another, else you wouldn't eject it. So that applies to writing too, inasmuch as it becomes a physical manifestation of something that is you, no hang on does that make sense? Might delete. [yes that was shit, but it's a fine line]

So here's a little dialogue on my mind, there's no winner of course since they're both on my side. No that's not true, one is on God's side and wins eventually.

Scary. Life is scary, we are vulnerable and living is about being open to all that, so just take a chance and have faith and take a leap.

Yes I know that, my ancestors did that and they almost died, how much luck can you have?

You could say they were lucky, but that luck has run from the dawn of time, every being from whom you have descended has overcome incredible odds and passed on their essence to you. Are you just going to give up now and say, well that's enough I think I'm going to retire on package holidays and leave life to someone else.

Very funny. There's no incredible odds, that's just the anthropic principle, of course everything is amazing, where it's not we're not there to witness it.

Clever, but it doesn't make any difference, you're doomed eventually anyway, at all levels. You will die individually, your species too at some point, your planet will explode or be absorbed by an exploding sun, and all will be forgotten. So just give up fixing shit, it ain't gonna make a slither of frozen shit's difference.

God, i'm depressed now.

Yes son, now come to me, it'll all be ok.

Hey, cut that crap you sneaky bastard I was just having a conversation and you're trying to depress the hell of out me.

Indeed the hell it is I'm trying to get out of you.

By making me depressed? I have been quite enjoying "fixing shit" as you so politely put it, until you came knocking on the door. What are you saying, I should give up everything and become a monk??

At this point the transmission breaks down, there is some crackling and I write it off for a bad line. The bastard is teasing me. Bless him, he has the best intentions. And when I stop analysing, he gives me peace.

* * *

* i have since done a couple hundred seconds research on Kant and decided that I like him, and so have changed the blog title from "Kant's a c*nt" to "Kant's no c*nt"