Neanderthals

Apparently this dead breed of humans was both stronger and more intelligent that us Homo Sapiens, so what happened? Well we collaborated, giving up our individuality for the greater good of the species, and beat them.

So what's this got to do with building conversion? Well communication and collaboration is something I struggle with, but it's essential in business. However I am aware of my weaknesses, so this gives me some strategic advantage - I can plan for it if I put the effort in.

Giving instructions. I find it difficult to assert my preferences, or even to know what they are, often erring towards what I think others might prefer hoping they will love me more. This is pointless.

I try to compensate for this by only giving instructions after I have spent time alone and considered a course of action by myself.

I'm not sure now if this has anything to do with Neandertals. I wanted to mention about signals versus requests but my communication skills let me down. Let me try again.

Spot the difference:

1) "This box needs to go over there."
2) "Could you move this box over there?"

The first is a statement, or a signal transmitting information.
The second is a request, also a signal transmitting information, but crucially different because it is requesting information in return.

In the first there is no evidence of an "other" person. My brain sends signals to my fingers which then type without protest. Because my brain and fingers are both part of me. By contrast, the second sentence is a question and so implies the existence of an "other".

In any relationship, in business but especially personally, my tendency is to communicate on the basis of the first kind of statement, and only with effort do I achieve the second. The pattern goes back to my relationship with my mother. We are one, emotionally tied such that when she sends signals I feel inclined to respond... because I AM partly her. I am ashamed of this. I am ashamed of my lack of being a separate person.

And yet none of us are truly separate. That was our condition when as the weaker species we Homo Sapiens overcame the stronger Neanderthals. Beginning with the tighter family unit, we grew to tribes and wider communities, and now nations and whole civilisations. We acted efficiently because we didn't need to ask each other questions and negotiate - we simply sent signals just as our brain does to our limbs, and the "self" became a human collective entity. The individual human died thousands of years ago, along with the Neanderthals.

But it's still a bitch when you want to "be yourself" as they say. Who says? Not me. F*ck the pronoun.